This is my beautiful 14-year old daughter, Abbie. (She's the one without the feathers.)
Abbie and two of her cousins recently started a blog. They developed this blog to amuse just themselves, exclusively; however, when I read Abbie's current post, I decided it had to be shared (with her permission, of course). She even selected the photos all on her own. I am so proud to be her dad.
And now, I give you....Abbie's post:
When I was younger, I decided that there were a few occupations that I would never pursue. Oddly enough, the main reason I didn't want to be these things was because they were all generally disliked by people. Adults or children. Please keep in mind that I made this list when I was about ten years old. It's still pretty accurate.
1. A Police officer.
This was simply because adults don't like them. I didn't consider the fact that you could be killed almost every day at work, I simply didn't want that job because people don't like getting pulled over, or getting tickets, or going to jail.
2. A lawyer.
This occupation interests me more, now that I've done some debating in a class. But at the time, I didn't want to be a lawyer because people aren't usually happy with their lawyers, unless they win the argument. WHAT IF YOU DON'T WIN THE ARGUMENT? Then you feel terrible for the rest of your life that you failed to help someone.
3. A dentist.
There are very few people I know that enjoy going to the dentist. Children or adults. I am not one of them. I used to hate it because I was scared. Now I'm tough and I just hate it because it's an all-day process! I mean, you have to wait there for, like, half an hour--or longer if your siblings go before you--and your mom fills out all the paperwork. Oh, the paperwork. I think that's one of the things I'm dreading when I become a mom. Then when you finally get to go to the back, you have to do the x-rays. I can't be the only one who hates having some giant, nasty, plastic thing in your mouth that you have to bite down on while it jabs it's way into your cheeks! Once your done having all the areas of you mouth gouged, you get to sit in the chair. Peace at last, right? Wrong! That's when you have to hold your mouth open for twenty minutes at the least, while the poke around and "count your teeth". Need I remind you people? I'm not four. I thought it was pretty obvious. They tell you about every thirty seconds to "open wide!". Really? I'm at the dentist. I know what to expect. I had my mouth open as far as it would go before you even told me to "open wider" the VERY FIRST TIME! Then they clean your teeth with awful toothpaste. It doesn't matter what flavor you get, it all tastes like blahgh! Then they suck all the moisture out of your mouth and don't rinse it thoroughly so you have the grainy texture for the rest of the day. When your finally done, your face is almost numb, you have a horrible taste for a week, and you feel like you never want to open your mouth again.
When I was younger, I had a cavity so deep that it went to my gums. However, it never hurt or bothered me, so we left it alone. For whatever reason, (when I was probably eight or nine) we decided it was time to pull it out. I was beyond terrified. I hated going to the dentist, and this was absolutely no exception. I honestly don't remember much of the process...except for crying and possibly even screaming at one point. I remember the dentist saying, in her sing-song voice "oh, you have such pretty earrings (I had recently gotten them pierced), are they real diamonds?" and I thought A) Again, I'm not four, so you don't have to talk like I am. B) Real diamonds? Really? Even if they were, how was I supposed to know?! and C) Do you really want me to answer that question? Because if I do, I'll probably spray this nasty whatever-it-is right out of my mouth. I don't think either of us wants that to happen (unless it will get the taste out of my mouth), so lets just cut the small talk and get this thing done. It was dreadful. The rest of the story, in fast motion, is: They put in a space maintainer that came out on Halloween. Great dentist, right?
So recently we went to this free dentist convention at the Las Vegas College of Dentistry, and I had my first filling. I'm pretty proud of that. Anyway, to make a very long story very short, I was back there, with my mouth wide open and the dentist assistant pulling my tongue and weird things and hands going in and out of my mouth, for over an hour. It was not pleasant...to say the least. And they always try and make you talk to them with your mouth open! "You're so pretty! What do you like to do? What do you like to do in school? What do you want to be when you grow up? You should continue your career and then have a family when your done. How long have you lived in Las Vegas? (and I wish I was making this up,) Do you have a boyfriend?" I'm surprised at how many ridiculous questions they come up with, and how I had any liquid left in my mouth! There are only 3 upsides. 1. They only numbed a part of my mouth, so I didn't drool as much 2. It was totally free! and 3. I hopefully don't have to go to the dentist again for a whole beautiful, closed mouth, complete feeling in my mouth, 6 months.