Thursday, July 15, 2010

Food for Thought

First off, you should know that I am all about chivalry. I am as freakin’ gracious as they gosh-dang come. B’cept with a couple of exceptions. And one of them is when Katie and I are bolting across a crowded parking lot to jump into our car in an effort to escape some protesting, survey-asking, do-gooder who has targeted us as their next victims. At that point, I’m not getting the door for Katie. At that point, the most chivalrous I can be is to wait for Katie to get into the car before I take off and inadvertently run over the surveyor in the process.

Alas, we didn’t make it into the car before being overpowered by our predatory concerned citizen. But you know what – I am SO glad. Because I learned a little something that I cannot believe I had not previously known. Ready? I hope you are sitting down. But not sitting down in your car, reading this on your computer or iPhone whilst you drive. That’s dangerous and concerns me as a citizen.

This is the propaganda that was handed over to me, courtesy of

“Our Kids Need Safe, Nutritious Food. We should make sure that our kids are getting safe, healthy food in school. Some of the meat served in schools is of such low quality that McDonald’s and KFC wouldn’t serve it. Since 2007, 13.6 million pounds of chicken from hens that would otherwise be made into pet food or compost have been sold to the National School Lunch Program.”

I am disgusted. Appalled. Like you, I am ashamed. How has this happened? HOW do we live in a country where companies like McDonald’s and KFC are completely ignoring the advertising opportunities obviously available to them through this study?!

If I were on the ad team for McDonald’s or KFC, you would see an immediate ad campaign along the lines of something like this:

“McDonalds. Now TWO steps above dog food!”

“KFC. Because your kids need something healthy for dinner, after eating compost-food all day at school.”

“KFC. For healthy teeth and a shiny coat!”

“Four out of five moms prefer the McDonald’s $1 Menu to the National School Lunch Program.”

“McDonalds. Not being offended by CALPRIG’s dissing since 2007.”

 “Dog food: It’s what’s for lunch!” “Brought to you by KFC, the makers of the recently-considered-more-healthy-in-comparison-to-school-lunches ‘Double Down.’”

And that’s one to grow on…