Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Ode to the Nog

Say what you will about egg nog, but unless you are saying “It’s delicious,” then you’re wrong. I love this beverage. I love everything about it. Well, not the name (which sounds dangerously dangerous; like you are destined for food poisoning.) But for the love of all things holiday-ish, this elixir is an instant party in your mouth. Your senses are heightened. You can actually smell colors. (P.S. Your senses might be confused as well.) (But you won’t see that warning on the box.) (Because if egg nog were to start putting warnings on their containers they would have to include things like “Warning: You will quickly and gladly sell your children for more egg nog.”) (I like writing inside parentheses.)

Egg nog is not so highly endorsed by all people. In fact, it’s not even endorsed by all of my family. In fact, it’s not even endorsed by all Ken Craigs in my family. Take for example, my father who also goes by Ken Craig, and whose response to egg nog is, “Whoever would drink that stuff would drink their own bath water.”

Touché, Dad.

Fact is, there aren’t too many fence sitters with egg nog. People either love it, or they are communist. You don’t see too many folks who say, “I can take it or leave it.” It’s usually, “I can and WILL take it – at gun point, if necessary” or “Get that swill away from me, you filthy beast.”

Well, I adore it. In all it’s forms – Dreyer’s ice cream, Jack In the Box shakes, pumpkin flavored, and on and on. But my favorite is Southern Comfort’s Vanilla Spice Egg Nog. Oh, hold me. I get the fever for it just talking about it. You must try it. I defy you to not fall in love with it. And for those of you concerned; no, it does not come with Southern Comfort already in it. It’s just pure heavenly non-alcoholic egg nog. You have to add the Southern Comfort yourself. But being the non-drinker that I am, I don’t add any Southern Comfort. I add a cup of my own bath water.