Showing posts with label Tanner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tanner. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Tanner's Debut


My imaginative and formerly-reserved son, Tanner, turned five years old on Saturday.  The best thing about Tanner is that if you have the time, he will gladly occupy it by relaying to you whatever is on his mind. And if you don’t cut him off, he will not on his own accord stop talking. And some of the things he says will leave you amused and often puzzled. It’s delightful and entertaining, and, like, way cheaper and more appropriate than most things you could spend your money on in Las Vegas.

And speaking of appropriateness and Tanner, I have a video for your viewing play-sure.

When Tanner was 2 years old, our stake (Biblical/LDS term for a gathering of “wards” or congregations, usually about 5 to 12 wards) produced a play for all to enjoy. It was a “musical revue,” wherein a number of pieces from different Broadway musicals were performed, tied together loosely by a storyline written by my very own wife and resident hotty, Katie.

Katie, 8 months pregnant with Becca, was working together with the director and as they were deciding on which musical numbers would work for the show, someone joked about the idea of having an 8-month pregnant Katie Craig sing “I’m Just a Girl Who Cain’t Say No” from the musical “Oklahoma.” Because really, what’s a stake play without some good ole’ fashioned innuendo?

And somehow it happened. It was decided that Katie would sing the song and our five children – with an additional three that were actually not our children – would be part of the number, with me kind of standing in the background.

Since my part was minimal and the director knew my schedule, she told me I only needed to come to the last two practices before the performances started. (And that is why she is going to heaven.) During the practices I watched Tanner in complete amazement. Without encouragement, at only 2 years old, he followed his brothers and sisters, doing whatever they did. It was adorable! But the thought kept coming to me that practices were one thing, and performing on a lighted stage in front of 1,000 people was something entirely different. I had my concerns about opening night.

Not only did he do it, but he stole the show. You can’t hear all the laughter on the video because the microphones were fed directly into the cameras, but the place fell apart whenever he did something. This adorable 2 year old in a red union-suit (you know, with the buttoned-up bum) was all about the performance. And at the part where we all gather in a circle with our hands on our knees, Tanner is shaking what his momma gave him right at the audience, and I bet there was pants-wetting going on in that there crowd.

So, here’s to you, Tanner. One of the most entertaining people I’ve met in my life. I hope you never change.



For a bigger picture, click here.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Craig Bunch: Our Christmas Card



THE CRAIG BUNCH Episode Guide for Season 13
This is brief listing of some of the episodes from 2008.  Each is a mix of hectic and calm, laughter and tears, desperation and inspiration.  And of course, every episode teaches a very valuable lesson!

The Florida Episode: The Craigs fly across the continental United States to Florida and pack in as much Disney, seashore, and scenic alligator sightings as they can. Take Home Message: Family togetherness is important. Cramming three different amusement parks into three consecutive days? Less important. Spread it out, folks.

The Child Development Episode: Garren (age 9) plays club baseball, involving many weekend trips up to St. George. Connor (age 7) can usually get out of trouble by saying something funny. Roxanna (age 5) has no filter and says whatever comes to her mind. Take Home Message: Garren won’t be playing club baseball anymore, Connor will continue to work on new material, and the family agrees that Roxanna’s comment “You smell like rice pudding” must be a compliment.

The Theatrical Episode: The entire Craig Family performs in the Stake Play: A musical review called “We Go Together.” Their ditty? As 7-month pregnant Katie belts out the Oklahoma classic, “I’m Just a Girl Who Cain’t Say No”, Ken and the kids dance around on stage.  Tanner (age 2) steals the show as he shakes what his momma gave him.  Take Home Message: What’s a stake play without a little harmless innuendo?

The Birth Episode: (Originally aired during "Sweeps," of course.) Katie delivers 10-pound Rebecca Craig…at home…unassisted by anyone but Ken.  Take Home Message: Immediately calling your midwife when you are in labor is important. So is keeping a clean guest bathroom. We’re just sayin’.

The Church Service Episode: Ken completes his first year as The Ward Bishop and loves the members of the Elk Ridge Ward. Take Home Message: Sometimes bishops are forced to feign amusement each time someone comments on his rapidly graying hair. Bishops have feelings too.

The Family Reunion Episode: The Craigs join The Entire Craig Family and then the Fillmore Family for a summer of family reunions in Utah. Take Home Message: During the summer months, the Craigs will leave Las Vegas at the drop of a hat.

The Bakery Episode: Abbie (age 11) starts her own bakery business out of our home, supplying a variety of homemade breads to a burgeoning clientele list. Take Home Message: Man cannot live on bread alone…unless it is Abbie’s homemade bread, because then, yes you can, people. Yes you can.

The Music Episode: The Craig kids are tapped as musical prodigies as they masterfully play the piano, trumpet, flute, drums, and cowbell. Take Home Message: The kids take after their mom. Dad is useless unless you are interested in “music appreciation.”

The Holiday Special: Katie directs a group of home schoolers in a Christmas play and produces it at a homeless shelter and two retirement homes. Take Home Message: Putting 30 kids in costumes on a stage is entertainment, no matter what happens. Everybody loves them.

The Christmas Episode: After surviving the biggest Las Vegas snowfall since 1979, the Craigs take time to express all their love and gratitude to their family and friends. Take Home Message: They recognize how truly, truly blessed they are to know such wonderful people and such wonderful doctrine as the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas from The Craig Bunch!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Narcolepszzzzzz....


This is my two-year old son, Tanner. The child has the uncanny ability to fall asleep anywhere. These photos represent only a fraction of the times and places he has unsuspectingly slipped off into dreamland.




I cannot fathom having a conscience so peaceful, so serene, as to be able to lay my head down at any moment and nod off without a care in the world. A true demonstration in omni-slumber.



His unparalleled ability to publicly snooze is matched only by his intolerance for clothing. Many are the mornings when Katie has dressed him in jeans and a long-sleeve shirt, only to find him seconds later downstairs sporting shorts, and maybe – MAYBE – a cape, as he dons the persona of the superhero de jour. So no, it’s not uncommon to find him half-nude and unconscious around the house – turning our home into some sort of frat house.



But here is what you have to admire. The man’s dedication. In this video clip you'll take note that while sleep may be his kryptonite, he will fend it off; and, with extraordinary determination, finish what he’s started.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

And Baby Makes Seven

Katie woke me up early Saturday morning to tell me that she was having contractions. Well, how do you go back to sleep after that?! (Pretty easily, it turns out.) Katie crawled back into bed and we went back to sleep for a few more hours.

When Katie actually did get out of bed, she ventured to the potty room and promptly lost her mucus plug. For those of you who know what a mucus plug is, you understand that this means things were progressing. For those of you who don’t know what a mucus plug is, I can only assume that it’s a conscious decision and you don’t want to know what it is; and far be it from me to put such images in your head. So just skip to the next paragraph.

By mid-morning the contractions weren’t any harder or more regular. This was frustrating for Katie, and a little boring for me. Then, all of a sudden, and without warning, they stopped completely. Katie took a nap, and I went to do some Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart. Don’t get me started. No, seriously. Do NOT get me started.

By late afternoon Katie was up and moving, and I, bloodied and war-torn from my Wal-Mart excursion, was wrapping Christmas presents while visions of shoppers being pelted by sugar plums (that I was throwing) filled my head. The contractions had picked back up, but were still irregular, and according to Katie, not all that painful. She could breathe through them as she kept busy with other things.

We had a meeting at the church building that night (adult session of Stake Conference, for you LDS folks), and Katie decided to go, feeling that maybe the distraction would help her to not sit on the couch and look at her watch and wait for the proverbial stork to show up. Throughout the two-hour meeting I would occasionally hear Katie breathing louder than usual, and I knew she was having a contraction. But that didn’t stop me from shushing her, because I am all about the reverence. At one point I thought she was making a gesture, but it turned out she was just telling me that the contraction was “one” minute long.

We got home from the meeting, got comfortable, and put on a movie. About an hour into it it became obvious that Katie was having more consistent contractions and also that Tom Hanks wasn’t leaving that Terminal anytime soon. Even though there were more contractions, they were not regular. Seven minutes apart, then four, then six, then five – and then the contractions were a minute long, then 30 seconds, then a minute-and-a-half. Weird. I mentioned to Katie that we should call Margie the Midwife. Even if we didn’t think she needed to come over immediately, it would be a good idea to let her know what the day had been like and see what her take on it was.

Her take on it was that she was coming over immediately. I can’t help but think that this was due (to a large degree) to how our last labor and delivery went. (For those of you just joining this saga, the last labor and delivery went without Margie the Midwife.)

Margie showed up around 11:45 p.m., and we all decided to adjourn to the Birthing Room (aka, our bedroom). Katie sprawled out on the bed and tried to get comfortable. The contractions were getting a little harder and no position on the bed was working for her. Margie suggested she check Katie and see how dilated she was. Ta-da! Katie was completely dilated to a 10!

“But…” said Margie… “I can’t feel a head.”

“Oh, GREAT!” I said. “No head!? The kids on the playground are going to be ruthless! But I suppose the upside is that our food bill will be about the same.”

My funnies fell on deaf ears.

Margie explained that the amniotic sack (or “water bag”) was in contact with the cervix, and the head was up and off to the side. At this point, you could literally see the shape of the baby – where its head was and the length of the body. The head was not engaged in the necessary location, and that was Margie’s concern.

“I can break the water and control the leak so it’s slow – that will allow me to guide the baby’s head into place.”

“Oh, good,” we said.

“Yes…and that should work. Even if the bum or feet come first, we’re okay.”

“Okay,” we nodded.

“…but if a hand comes out first, we’re in trouble. You would need to be rushed to the hospital, and you would most likely need a c-section.”

I nodded as I listened to Margie, recognizing her need to give us a Worse Case scenario, just in case we needed to jump into action and she wouldn’t have to explain as we went. But I completely trusted Margie. She had done this kind of thing hundreds, if not thousands, of times. One of them with one of our other children. And she explained it very calmly and matter-of-factly, indicating to me that she was not at all concerned about it happening.

But the timing was such that Katie was already feeling vulnerable. And all she was hearing was “Blah, blah blah – hand coming out first – blah, blah, blah – you’ll need a c-section – blah, blah, blah – Tom Hanks is never going to get out of that Terminal.”

I was kneeling on the side of the bed, holding Katie’s hand as she lay down. We were both listening to Margie, and I thought we were on the same page, when I felt Katie squeeze my hand. I looked over at her, and for the only moment through this entire experience, I saw concern in her eyes.

“You have to fix it.”

“What?”

“You have to fix it,” she pleaded.

It broke my heart to see this uncertainty in Katie’s eyes. This makes no sense to you, I’m sure, but having been around Katie for over 10 years now, and being deeply in love with her, I easily cracked her code. She just wanted to be reassured that there was no way a hand was going to come out first. And I reassured her that Margie was only giving us the “disclaimer” and that everything would be perfectly fine.

With that, Margie broke the water, and our baby fell right into place, head first, right on cue. I got up on the bed and helped Katie scoot to the side of the bed. I sat behind her and held her up under her arms, so she was in a squatting position. Margie laid out all the pads and cloths and assumed her position on the other end of Katie.

Katie began pushing – so consciously and by design – and after only a couple of pushes, the head was out. Another push, and Margie was holding a new baby. Our new baby. A baby boy. A 10 lbs. 4 oz. baby boy.



If you are just now regaining consciousness from reading that, I will now confirm what you’ve read is true. A 10 lbs. 4 oz baby boy…with a 15 ¾ inch head. And he is beautiful. He nursed immediately. And my favorite characteristic so far is that he sleeps through the night.

The name we finally decided on is Tanner Bruce Craig. Tanner is my mom’s maiden name, and rich in heritage, which I love. Bruce is Katie’s dad’s name, as well as New Jersey’s own Bruce Springsteen. (No relation, I just thought I’d point it out.) He was born at 12:18 a.m. on Sunday, December 4th. (Tanner, not Springsteen.)

Katie made this delivery look so graceful and smooth, it was like something we just did every Saturday night. I am always in awe of her abilities and the strength she exhibits at moments when I would certainly do some real damage to whoever else was in the room. Of course, I do exhibit my own kind of grace and restraint in the lines at Wal-Mart. You can’t take that away from me.