I Miss You, Katie.

Dear Katie, I will be home tomorrow. I've missed you.

Friday Films: Guys' Apartment

Today’s Friday Films is a live performance from The Garrens.

If you are not familiar with The Garrens, this is the improv and sketch comedy troupe that Katie and I were both in during our college days at BYU. This is also where Katie and I met, fell in love, tore our ACL on stage (that was mostly Katie) and were voted Most Likely to Undress on Stage (that was mostly me). I’ve written about The Garrens on a few other occasions. Specifically how we came to be, our history, and then how Katie and I came to be. You can read those bits by clicking here. And I, of course, endorse doing so.

Each Friday night we performed our original material on campus at 7:30 p.m. and 9:15 p.m., to a crowd of about 750 people between the two shows. It was a wonderful creative outlet, and I dearly miss it, as well as those I was blessed to perform with and call my friends.

This particular sketch featured today is called Guys’ Apartment. In the spirit of full disclosure, I will admit that I wrote this particular bit. One night, when Katie and I were dating, I was hanging out at her apartment and all her roommates were there and I was watching them all interact. I realized that there were these very real customs or cultures that went on in college girls’ apartments. And I noticed that they were vastly different than men’s apartments, where the only real “custom” is to shut the bathroom door when you’re sitting in there. That was usually followed.

So I watched Katie and her roommates interacting and thought how funny it would be to have a sketch where the men are acting just like college girls – not effeminate or girly, but adapting to their customs. So I went home and wrote this sketch.

Now, please keep in mind I wrote this for a very targeted audience. If you were not a girl attending BYU in the mid-90s…you may not catch every detail and joke. For example, it was a BYU tradition in girls apartments that if a girl kissed her date goodnight, she had to buy ice cream for all her roommates. So some things may be lost. Additionally, at this point, you could consider this a “period piece.” It was written and performed in 1995, for crying out loud. Most people did not have cell phones, email, or the Interwebs.

Also, the filming of it is not with the most high-tech equipment. The sound is especially inferior. So you have to listen quite carefully. Also, you should know, my character is loosely based on Katie.

Thank you for indulging me. I really used to have a good time performing this particular sketch. The last time we performed it was in the Marriott Center, about 16 years ago. So go back with me to 1995, somewhere in a girls’ apartment near BYU…

Friday Films: Shearer Genius Designs

I’d like to introduce a new feature here at The Craig Report that I may or may not commit to doing on a weekly basis. I’m going to call it Friday Films! (Please note: Actual films may or may not be featured.)

Our first gem was filmed in 2002, but I only recently purchased the software to convert old video tapes to digital. So – hooray! – you are all in for a real treat as we gather around and watch old home movies starring the Craigs!

WAIT, DON’T GO!

This will be worth your 60 seconds.

For our first installment of Friday Films, I’d like to showcase my adorable wife, Katie. (I sort of have her permission.) This film is entitled “Shearer Genius Designs.”

Here is the Behind the Scenes story. Katie was feeling flummoxed about the decorating of our home. She just didn’t feel this was her talent. After mentioning this to our dear friend and yours, Jeni Shearer, Jeni stopped by one afternoon and in the sum total of about 20 minutes, completely changed our home for the better.

Because Katie is so clever and delightful, she couldn’t just write a simple note thanking Jeni for her help. No. She did this. She filmed a “thank you” for Jeni – in the form of a fake infomercial-style tribute.

I’m not sure what my favorite part is, but I think I’ve narrowed it down to two things. One, the “character” that Katie decided to play in her infomercial has it all: including some sort of throat-warble, fake mole drawn above her lip, and a wonky eye. I would watch an entire movie about this character. My other favorite thing is Katie’s dedication to getting it done. Not only was she holding the camera herself, she was also battling three tiny children who, as you’ll be able to see, almost refused to let her film without their interference. Yet, she managed to out-maneuver the outnumbering marauders.

One final note, there is no such thing as Shearer Genius Designs, though there should be. So don’t bother Googling it or trying to hire their services. Katie made up the name. But with a name like Shearer, it practically makes itself up.

Enjoy your Friday Films!